Do you talk dirty to your partner?

Getting vocal during sex is a huge turn-on for many men, and you’ll find it can be one for you too. Learning to talk dirty sets your mind on fire, and can be one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs we have.

Men adore your adulation and want to know what turns you on. They crave your creativity. Talking dirty is not about swearing like a sailor or screaming like a porn star. Rather, it’s about talking from the heart (and maybe a few other places). When it’s authentic, sex talk will feel hot, not silly.

To ease your way in, start by moaning to let him know what feels good — “ooh!” for when he’s hit a good spot and “mmmm” for when he’s really moving in the right direction. When he starts doing something that doesn’t push your buttons, it’s the perfect opportunity to speak up. Say, “You know, I just love it when you do ‘this’ to me.” It could be anything from the most sensual, loving act to a strong and aggressive sexual activity. The goal is to say what you really want him to do.

Talking about what you’re doing to each other takes sex to a different level. Part of it is verbalizing something that’s not often put into words. Another piece is heightening your arousal by getting what you want and really focusing on what you are doing together. It’s another form of sensory input to make sex the sensational experience it should be!

Add a comment November 14, 2008

Is Pre-Marital counseling key to a successful marriage?

Finding your one and only is a decidedly euphoric experience. You’ve realized you want to spend the rest of your lives together — a moment you’ve likely dreamed of for most of your life so far. But there are some real issues every couple should discuss before the big day. Before you say “I do” it’s important to say, “Honey, what are your thoughts on religion, children, and careers outside the home?”

Premarital counseling can help you and your beloved explore the questions that may not have occurred to you yet, but which will no doubt pop up later. The biggies are: money, sex, kids, religion, role definition, and each of your own families of origin. Sorting out your views and his views now saves your relationship a lot of future angst. Plus, it’s good to make sure your conflict resolution skills are what they should be. If it’s been mostly bliss up to this point, you may not know how you will handle a real bump in the road. And there are bound to be plenty.

Licensed therapists or religious advisers (priests, rabbis, or ministers) are all good choices when you’re in search of premarital counseling. It depends on what suits you best as a couple.

If you’re worried about your partner buying into this, present it to him as an investment in your future. You’re working to make your relationship stronger in the long run, but you’re doing it now — while it’s still new and fresh. Think of it as insurance for your marriage

Add a comment November 12, 2008

Special Occasion Sex……..do you feel obligated?

Ah yes……admit it……we’ve all done it.  The need to fulfill a sexual obligation to (or for) your partner on a “special occasion day”.  It could be because it’s a birthday, an anniversary, Arbor Day, or heck – even a full moon!!

Have you or your friends ever commented on how one has had to indulge their partners, only to be followed up with a huge UGH! or depressed, lengthy sigh?

How do you “make it happen” when you just don’t want it to happen at all?

This is actually a “hot button” for a lot of folks, because rather than give in to spontaneity, the need to fulfill an obligation (or what is perceived to be an obligatory event) takes the ZIP out of the moment.

I’m guilty as the next gal to give in when my “mojo” just wasn’t happening at the moment – in order to oblige my partner.  Thankfully, the mojo-meter works properly most days!!!!  Whew!!!

Would you rather see a happy partner or a pouting one?

How do you feel about fulfilling your obligation?

Add a comment November 3, 2008

Why Vibrators Are Good for You

Had a great conversation with a friend of mine recently, and we chatted up the use of “bedroom accessories.”  Oh sure, we laughed and made all the typical crude jokes that go along with this subject, but one thing was for sure.  During our chat, we came to the realization that toys are INDEED good for you.

Did you know that The Berman Center conducted a study of vibrator use among women, and the findings were resoundingly positive.

More women have dabbled in vibrators than you may think: 44 percent of women have vibrator experience. It’s not just the singles either! Nearly 60 percent of women in relationships reported vibrator experience, while just over a third of single women did.

Whether the woman was single or married, old or young, vibrator use was associated with better sexual function. Women who used a vibrator, either in the past or currently, had more sexual interest and desire; better arousal; easier and more frequent orgasms; and less pain during and after sex. In addition, better sexual function was linked to higher levels of sexual satisfaction and even enhanced quality of life. It doesn’t get much better than that!

The study showed that vibrators are nothing to be afraid of — women said they did not become dependent on a vibrator once they started using one. This point was one of my friends concern, that she’d like BOB (battery operated boyfriend) over ROB (fake names used to protect the innocent).  A vibrator was never viewed as a replacement for a partner. If anything, a vibrator has a valuable place during partner sex, since two-thirds of partners were found to be supportive of vibrator use. More than anything, women reported they were driven to try a vibrator because of curiosity.

So, are you curious yet?

3 comments October 31, 2008