Sex and the Ex…

We all know that breaking up is hard to do. But the end of a relationship can be hard on your libido too. Going from having sex all the time when in a relationship to hardly at all can be difficult. It may be tempting to slip into a dangerous habit: casual sex with your ex.

It’s easy to rationalize: You’ve already done it, so it’s something (and someone) comfortable and familiar. You can even convince yourself that it’s “just sex.” However, these seemingly logical thought patterns often fall apart once you’ve done the deed. Sex with your ex can lead to a lot of regrets and lost ground if you’ve been trying to make a clean break.

The next time you’re tempted, ask yourself these questions:

• Are there emotions you’re trying to satisfy (anger, resentment, etc.) by having sex with him?
• Are you looking for a way to stay close to him?
• Are you feeling lonely or simply fed up with dating?
• Are you just looking for closure?
• Will having sex with your ex kill your motivation to find a new relationship?

After all, no matter how good the sex is, there will always be an emotional price to pay. An enjoyable sex life rests in your own two hands (with perhaps the help of a vibrator) and in the promise of a new relationship. Relationships aren’t that much different from anything else — it’s always best to keep moving forward rather than spend your life looking back.

Add a comment August 13, 2009