The Big “O”

April 14, 2009 toylady
Tags: advice column, dating, divorce, fantasy, foreplay, friendship, love, lust, marriage, marriage counseling, orgasms, relationships, romance, sex, sex over 40, singles

Is there a patented formula for orgasm? Many men and women think, if I can just master the right technique, it’ll happen. But the truth is, you can’t force it. The recipe for an orgasm is one part setting the stage for physical fireworks, and one part allowing it to happen. While the right touch certainly helps, the female orgasm is as much — if not more — about the mind as it is about the body. So ask yourself: Are you giving the big “O” the attention it deserves?

An orgasm happens when you are fully present in the moment, when your mind is focused on the details of what’s happening right now. You’re not running through a mental list of to-dos, you’re not wondering how you look, and you’re not concerned about what your partner is thinking. You’re focused solely on the experience, the physical sensations, and your connection to your partner. If you let go of the rest, it’s far more likely you’ll get what you want.

The next time you’re in search of an orgasm, try to block out everything except the here and now. Your mind should be solely on:

• Your partner’s touch.
• How your partner smells.
• The energy between the two of you.
• The physical sensations in your genitals — visualize the flow of energy and heat as you connect with your partner and imagine that warmth surging through the rest of your body.
• Experimenting with new ways of touching each other.

The bottom line is: Enjoy the moment!

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